Bypass Number One

*Please note that I'm trying to do "bypasses" on my heart as a continuation of my "heart surgery" and I'm never fully aware if I'm using terms correctly *

I have been asking God to bring up things that need to be dealt with and now I need to feel the sting of it all... Last night I finally started to really deal with issues I have talked about before, dealing with sleep and the dark. And after seeking help and prayer I also talked with my parents and had them pray over me and my room. But in the end I was really dealing with something that I kept on struggling with over and over again... And it took one sentence from my mother to start to snap me out of it.

"You are not that little girl anymore."

Only very few people know the details of what happened with my family when I was little and I don't want to go into on here. But there was a lot of spiritual warfare in my family and in my life before I was even ten years old that has left scars on me to this day... And I still felt/feel the fright of it and the pain of it... And in my mind I was still the little girl crying and cowering in the corner with no power or authority with no idea what I could possibly do. And this was hindering me so much because I thought myself powerless and weak... I keep being afraid of things that scared me when I was little, and I need to grow up! "You are NOT that little girl anymore" couldn't be more true!

I grew as a believer since then and because of all of it I've also been made stronger than most. But instead of being that little girl who was just afraid and unsure of myself only knowing how to ask others to deal with my problems I didn't fully understand yet, I am now a young woman of God! And I asked God to help me work through old things of my past and I want to do it myself (don't think this the wrong way, of me shutting myself out from all help, I am willing to accept help where I need it and I am simply saying that I don't want to fully rely on people because I shouldn't).

I am sick of being a small frightened child and and I am going to break free of this. Now I keep telling myself "You are NOT that little girl anymore" and I start to understand that God won't throw things at me that I can't handle and with each new fight I get stronger. And it may hurt, I know that it hurts, I cry barely knowing why when I deal with these types of things. But no pain no gain...

To finish things up, I have began overcoming my fear and insecurity in this area and I can almost feel myself becoming stronger as I work through this. And I am NOT a little girl anymore!

-Keeping the Faith,

C.A.M

(Also this is the verse I quote to myself often;

Isaiah 41:10

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.")