Valley girl? NO. Girl? Yes.

Femininity. Lately this has become somewhat of a sensitive subject. When I look around these days women are getting less and less feminine. And if you are a feminine person you can get put down and people get upset at you for it as if you're "lowering women" by acting like one. Man and Woman, both are equal just different.

I've always been somewhat of a "tomboy" and I still am at heart. I spent most of my time with my brother doing "guy things" and it got comfortable to do them, hang out with guys more so than girls, and really just preferred to be a guy then to act like a girl. But as I get older I grew out of it a little. I still hang out with guys and play video games and do all the sort of things a normal guy would, but I got to terms that I am a girl. And as I get older I am more and more a "woman" and am striving to be a woman of God. Or as I like to say "A Proverbs 31 Woman." If you haven't read Proverbs 31, especially as a woman, you need to! This is one of the many places in the bible that describes a woman of godly character and who we should be to our Proverbs 32 Man. (And when 31 and 32 meet it's a perfect match!)

God created man and woman different. We have different responsibilities and purposes. We act different and look different and are meant to be that way. Men are strong and have spiritual authority to protect the household. And after the husband come the wife. She is responsible for the children, taking care of the house, preparing the food the husband supplies, (and back then in charge of the servants) Women think this is degrading today. That women are superior and that they should be above the man of the house. And I don't think this. Women should respect their husbands and understand that God put them in authority above them. Just as children respect their parents woman respect their husbands. The man is the head of the house isn't just a cliché , it's reality. And if there is no man in the house, which is unfortunately common these days, the Mother/Wife is in charge.

Women also have a maternal instinct which is stronger then mens. Even animals who are girls have this. The mother polar bear takes care of the young and the father, if he's hungry enough, will eat the child if the mother doesn't protect it! Or when you hear about lions taking in pigs for their own children. I always thought I lacked this but in the end I was wrong, I just hadn't really "grown into it" yet. Women are the gentle kind hearted ones and that's just how it is. I don't squeal when I see a baby like most girls but when it comes down to it I have a very strong instinct to protect children. And once I started to spend more time with kids I found that I also has a maternal instinct. I wanted to take care of them and couldn't help myself! I feel this way towards most everyone, old and young, but when it comes to kids I find that each day I want to care for them more and more! I won't go into that too much though...

Also back in bible times it was the woman who named the children. When she gave birth she would look at the child and speak their name to them. This just sort of became a custom if you will of the Israelites. And what they were named effected their lives! And it still is this way today! When you get a name it does effect how your life is and that used to be up to the mother. Women have so many things that we are in charge of and that are important for us to do and I've been seeing that we are rejecting these God given gifts!

Now I do think women are equal to men. We should make the same money for the same jobs and I do think we are equal in all of those ways. BUT. There are still things men are naturally better at and there are things women are naturally better at. Men about 8 out of 10 are stronger then women. Women are more agile. That's the way we are built. In the end I think that women should be feminine and act like women. I'm still tough. I still have that tomboy in me. But I've come to respect my body and self as a woman. I embrace the things about me that make me distinctly woman. And wearing skirts and walking gracefully and having polite manners are things I try to work on every day. And people may put me down for being "girly" , but I am a girl! I'm aiming to be like the classy women of yesteryear and a Proverbs 31 woman of God.

And when people tell you that we are superior to men, we aren't, sorry. And we can wear pants, but why not wear skirts? When you dress like a girl you feel and act like one. And who ever said that's a bad thing?

Oh, and one more thing. Women are tougher then men in some aspects. Let's just say that men don't give birth and leave it at that? And when you are cooking all the time you get buff, I know this for a fact! And God also says for husbands to respect their wives. and as they say in My Big Fat Greek Wedding,

"The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck!"

-Keeping the faith,

C.A.M

"Beauty is Fleeting"

Something I used to struggle with greatly was self esteem... From the ages of about 9-15 I couldn't stand myself. And it wasn't super models or actresses that I was comparing myself to, it was my sister. I consider my sister to be one of the most beautiful people I've seen. And she is not only beautiful on the outside but on the inside as well, Which I believe is what reflects on the outside and makes her so gorgeous. And when you have an older sibling who is beautiful and smart and funny and that everybody loves it can be hard on you. I have always wanted to be as beautiful as her. For those who know Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader it was like Lucy and Susan syndrome. I kept wishing I could at least be equal as her. And while admiration is a good thing too much of it is poisoning.

Now keep in mind I still think all of this of my sister and I have never blamed her or anything for this "problem" of mine. But when I was younger I wasn't where I am today (obviously). And after I went to the Revolve tour and lots of time at youth groups I finally came to realize a few things.

First: that my sister is four years older than me. So she had already become a "woman" when I was still a stumpy little kid. Second: that soon I would go through the same thing and that it would change me to look like a "woman" as well

Third: that even though we look a lot alike and we are sisters we are still different people and I'm never going to look exactly like her and I shouldn't because I am my won person.

And Fourth: that she was beautiful because of her mental and spiritual maturity that was much higher then mine was.

After years of agonizing over looking just like her I instead focused on creating my own self. I love the fact that I have a little of my sister and my brother in me. But these don't make me "like them" but merely add to who I am. And as I worked on improving myself and only comparing me to who I was before I gained more and more confidence each day. And I'm still in the process of figuring out who I am and am meant to be but whenever that day was way back when that caused the breakthrough started all of it.

That was just getting my own identity mainly though and even though I got more confidence from it I still didn't have very much. When I went to revolve and saw Chad Eastham and bought his book (The Truth About Guys) I was able to take a huge leap forward. He said that women should respect themselves and not be a "target" but a "treasure". In the book out of many things there is a part of it that says that women focus on the features we hate and that most men focus on the features of themselves they like the most. So I decided then, and still do, have a guy mentality about myself. When I look in the mirror instead of saying what I hate I found a part of myself I really liked and focused on it. Slowly I started to realize I was liking more and more of me. A lot of people think that by liking yourself you are stuck up but I also realized that this wasn't true. It's confidence. Not "Over confidence" but plain old value in yourself! I had become a treasure who knew it was valuable and now was less likely to become a target! To be a target mainly is when a guy spots a girl with low self esteem and says how beautiful he thinks she is and she only thinks of herself as so when he is saying it to her and then once the guy has the girl thinking he thinks she is valuable he can use her as he pleases and throw her away (and just cause a guy is being nice doesn't mean he is doing this but this is one of the things...)

Nowadays I have enough self esteem that *ahem* I do NOT need a man to make me feel beautiful because I KNOW I am and GOD knows I am and that is ENOUGH for me!

But I am still human (and a girl) so I do have my moments of weakness. I'll be blunt that I don't like my skin. I've had skin problems as long as I can remember and there is still that little thought in the back of my head that I wish my skin could be more clear and beautiful. And I push this out only with the help of God. I think to myself "God still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful even with my skin condition" and I don't know what I would do without Him especially at those times.

And as I said earlier my sister is beautiful also because of her inner beauty. So currently that is what I am working on. Not "just to look prettier" but because it helps in all places of your life and the lives of others. Right now in my life I'm doing a sort of "detox" of my old self and washing away all the impurities on the inside. I push myself to be helpful, kind, modest and devoted with a strong faith. Which is why I wrote those types of thing all over my walls so that when I wake up I look around and tell myself "That's what I'm pushing to be" and I go on about my day with those in mind. I know I'm not there yet but I will continue to work on it until I am. And even some more after that! And I am workingon becoming a woman of Proverbs 31, which is a little long to type haha

So to all the women reading this, would you care to join me?

Keeping the Faith,

C.A.M