"Find Out What it Means to Me."

Although I am always telling people "I love and respect ___" I have a problem with at least one of these parts. Respect.

I recently borrowed and finished a book called "For Young Women Only" and in it I had at least this on revelation that they put in it. Most men want to be respected not loved. It said when interviewing and doing poles most men, especially as they get older, want respect from the people around them. (the book also said how to show respect) And it applies to your brother, father, friends, and the person you are dating or married to. And I'm still not positive on if I truly are respecting these people or not...

Now I'm not a feminazzi or anything but I do believe (as written in a previous post) that women are equal to men in certain areas, and so I don't want to be waving them with banana leaves because they are SO superior to poor females. But the main thing is how I phrase things that can sound disrespectful. I've been a sarcastic person most of my life and I think I have a "tone" problem, personally. I think something in my head that sounds respectful, reasonable, and then I say it and it comes out in a tone that suggests otherwise. And to most people "Okay, I'll do it" can come out very different when said in the wrong tone. I could Mean "Okay, I'll do it and I'm not complaining." But my Tone says "Okay, I'll do it! Please stop pestering me about it." And about 95% of the time this is an accident! Sometimes I'll even say that "I'm sorry it wasn't supposed to sound that way, I'm just ____ right now." And sometimes the more I add to defend it the worse I make things...

I'm not trying to sound like an innocent victim of people reading me wrong here. I will say that it is my fault that thing come out that way. And sometimes I really am being rude on purpose. There's no excuse for it and only one core reason, I am human! I mess up! But because I have Jesus and the Holy spirit living and working in me these are things I should work on more and more.

And in my last post I talked about how marriage is on my mind a lot these days. And when God says "Husband love your wife" he also says "Wife respect your husband"

There are more reasons to this but one that I read recently said that Love comes easy to women, hence the maternal instinct among other things, and that it's easy for men to know how to Respect. It doesn't really say for husbands to respect their wives or for the wife to love her husband. These things are easy (said FYWO) and come naturally to most men and women. God knows this and knows that we are built this way, but of course, he designed us this way for balance. And yes there are times when the wife doesn't love or the husband doesn't respect, but I would like to not focus on that right now.

Women go on and on about how God COMMANDS for their man to love them. And He does, but are we reading the part about us? About respect? Although I want to be married I know I have to work on my respect more before that's going to happen. And I am also working on it in other areas such as family, and friends. I get really upset with people sometimes, people who have God given authority over me as parents and older siblings and elders which could be considered older friends or just people you know who are above you in certain areas. I get really frustrated when I don't agree with them and I just bottle it up and vent later now. I got tired of my constant annoyance and lashing out to people who I should be respecting. BUT. I shouldn't be venting disrespectfully to other people. But right now I'm honestly not sure what I should do. What do I do when I'm upset? Something that takes it away but not in an unhealthy manner? Should I pray to God every time and just give it to Him? (RIght now I'm just typing the things going through my head...) I think so... People say "don't ever change" but I don't think they realize how many inside struggles I have going on that I am taking care of only with Gods grace, mercy and help. These problems are gnawing on me inside and I wish so much to just flush them out and be the strong woman of God I want people to see me as and to be able to inspire others to take care of these things as well!

SHowing respect in all the ways you can is a difficult thing and I just recently added a lot more cheese cloth to my brain filter is you get what I mean. The thing I used to just say go through a lot more speculation now but I know I have a ways to go still. I don't want to be cowering under people in fear but I want to be respectful of them. And I want to watch what I say and think "am I going to be respecting them if I say this?" but not be a suck up either. I walk a thin line with this, but who said the path God wants us to follow is a wide one?

-Keeping the Faith,

C.A.M

Valley girl? NO. Girl? Yes.

Femininity. Lately this has become somewhat of a sensitive subject. When I look around these days women are getting less and less feminine. And if you are a feminine person you can get put down and people get upset at you for it as if you're "lowering women" by acting like one. Man and Woman, both are equal just different.

I've always been somewhat of a "tomboy" and I still am at heart. I spent most of my time with my brother doing "guy things" and it got comfortable to do them, hang out with guys more so than girls, and really just preferred to be a guy then to act like a girl. But as I get older I grew out of it a little. I still hang out with guys and play video games and do all the sort of things a normal guy would, but I got to terms that I am a girl. And as I get older I am more and more a "woman" and am striving to be a woman of God. Or as I like to say "A Proverbs 31 Woman." If you haven't read Proverbs 31, especially as a woman, you need to! This is one of the many places in the bible that describes a woman of godly character and who we should be to our Proverbs 32 Man. (And when 31 and 32 meet it's a perfect match!)

God created man and woman different. We have different responsibilities and purposes. We act different and look different and are meant to be that way. Men are strong and have spiritual authority to protect the household. And after the husband come the wife. She is responsible for the children, taking care of the house, preparing the food the husband supplies, (and back then in charge of the servants) Women think this is degrading today. That women are superior and that they should be above the man of the house. And I don't think this. Women should respect their husbands and understand that God put them in authority above them. Just as children respect their parents woman respect their husbands. The man is the head of the house isn't just a cliché , it's reality. And if there is no man in the house, which is unfortunately common these days, the Mother/Wife is in charge.

Women also have a maternal instinct which is stronger then mens. Even animals who are girls have this. The mother polar bear takes care of the young and the father, if he's hungry enough, will eat the child if the mother doesn't protect it! Or when you hear about lions taking in pigs for their own children. I always thought I lacked this but in the end I was wrong, I just hadn't really "grown into it" yet. Women are the gentle kind hearted ones and that's just how it is. I don't squeal when I see a baby like most girls but when it comes down to it I have a very strong instinct to protect children. And once I started to spend more time with kids I found that I also has a maternal instinct. I wanted to take care of them and couldn't help myself! I feel this way towards most everyone, old and young, but when it comes to kids I find that each day I want to care for them more and more! I won't go into that too much though...

Also back in bible times it was the woman who named the children. When she gave birth she would look at the child and speak their name to them. This just sort of became a custom if you will of the Israelites. And what they were named effected their lives! And it still is this way today! When you get a name it does effect how your life is and that used to be up to the mother. Women have so many things that we are in charge of and that are important for us to do and I've been seeing that we are rejecting these God given gifts!

Now I do think women are equal to men. We should make the same money for the same jobs and I do think we are equal in all of those ways. BUT. There are still things men are naturally better at and there are things women are naturally better at. Men about 8 out of 10 are stronger then women. Women are more agile. That's the way we are built. In the end I think that women should be feminine and act like women. I'm still tough. I still have that tomboy in me. But I've come to respect my body and self as a woman. I embrace the things about me that make me distinctly woman. And wearing skirts and walking gracefully and having polite manners are things I try to work on every day. And people may put me down for being "girly" , but I am a girl! I'm aiming to be like the classy women of yesteryear and a Proverbs 31 woman of God.

And when people tell you that we are superior to men, we aren't, sorry. And we can wear pants, but why not wear skirts? When you dress like a girl you feel and act like one. And who ever said that's a bad thing?

Oh, and one more thing. Women are tougher then men in some aspects. Let's just say that men don't give birth and leave it at that? And when you are cooking all the time you get buff, I know this for a fact! And God also says for husbands to respect their wives. and as they say in My Big Fat Greek Wedding,

"The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck!"

-Keeping the faith,

C.A.M