Love is... Part 8

Photo Credit: "TopYaps"

Love is... Forgiving (Does not keep record of wrong). 

We all have memory, it is an amazing function of the brain that we have been given. We can remember the things that we learn, the lyrics to songs, the names and faces of people, and many other things. The issue with memory is the bad memories. We can remember the pain of betrayal, the exact words said by a person who hurt you, we can essentially remember every "wrong" that has been done to us. 

People say, "forgive and forget" a lot these days. I think that this is false in one way, and true in the other. 

The false part: You really can not just "forget" something happened to you. The memory will be there, and the more hurtful it is the better you will remember it.

The true part: You can put the grudge out of your mind forever. While you can not loose the memory of what happened, yo can forget the anger and leave that behind. Essentially, "Forgive them for what they do, and forget about the anger you have and go on with life." 

To "Not keep record of wrongs" is to forgive the wrongs. Let's put in in these terms. 

Someone has committed various crimes against you. There is a long list of what they have done. When you forgive a person it is like you are "Not pressing charges" and essentially taking the crime off of the list. They still did it, and you still know and remember that they did, but the record of it has been cleared. (Yes, I know, I am not an expert in law.)

I have learned so much about forgiveness recently and I believe it has saved me in many ways. Something my Dad has told me a lot is that "Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."This is more true than you know. 

When you hold bitterness and unforgiveness towards a person you hurt yourself more then you will ever hurt them. Whatever they did to you is being amplified and continued as you choose not to forgive them. Are they suffering from it? The answer is either "No" or "They lost your friendship and that hurt them". I will tell you now, I believe that eight out of ten times the answer is simply "no". 

(Ephesians 4:31)

Unforgiveness gives a foothold for the Enemy in our lives. I know I have probably said this many times, but that is because it is true! You are letting your spirit be blocked, your relationship with God to be dampened, and you are being played like a fiddle by Satan to hurt other people and yourself! "Do not let the sun go down on your anger", should be a familiar verse to you by now. Forgiveness is weed killer to bitterness growing in out hearts. 

Most likely you will have to forgive multiple times. When Jesus said, "Seventy times Seven", he meant it. This does not mean keep a list of "490", and write down each time you forgave that person, and once they hit "491" you no longer need to forgive them. Keeping track of how many times you forgave them is pretty much "Keeping record of wrongs". Whenever you think of what hurt or angered you, you forgive them again. Over and over, for the rest of your life! (Matthew 18:22)

We are to forgive just as God forgave us (Matthew 6:12-15)! If you think a persons "Wrong doing towards me" record is long towards you, think about how long your list would be to God. But since he is Love, he is willing to forget them all. Repeated offenses do not matter, he forgives over and over. Because to love a person is to forget about the times they hurt you, and move on. 

I have many people that I forgive daily. I am not trying to make this a "sad story contest", but I want to testify about this. I have been hurt deeply by many people, and I am reminded of this many times. I forgave them once, but that was not "it". I said to God, "I forgive them", and I was angry again later. I did forgive them that time, but I needed to forgive them again. When you are continually forgiving people it becomes a habit, and a great one at that! Once you are forgiving people you notice bitterness quicker and are able to maintain good fruit and root out evil before it grows harder to pull out. 

Something else I learned is that old things can come up when God wants you to deal with it. I was laying in bed during a Fasting Weekend, hoping for God to tell me my "Five Year Plan" for life. Instead, I got a list of people I needed to forgive, or forgive again, since Kindergarden! This was necessary because it was causing a blockage in my spiritual life and I could not move on until I cleared them out. Before we stop marking down wrong doings we need to go over past lists and erase them. 

It is painful to go over past things that need to be forgiven, and we need Grace to be able to do this. The point is that people feel very loved when they realize that you are not embittered towards them for something they did. This can also cause the guilt in their life to disappear and you are helping not only yourself, but others. 

The power of forgiving your friends and enemies is a wonderful quality. It is a way to draw people to Christ so that they can tell who you are "By your love". A great thing to do, that I am doing as well, is to just spend quiet time with God and simply ask Him to show you any unforgiveness in your heart. Then ask Him to help you forgive those things. It is a freeing thing to do and you can, at times, even physically feel burdens being lifted off of you. 

And always remember the parable of the King who forgave the debts of the man, and try to not be the man who would not forgive the small things. (Matthew 18:23-35) 

To love is to forgive, to not let yourself keep a list of all the things people have done to you, and to do it consistently to everyone. 

Refining the Faith, 

-C.A.M.

Love Is... Part 7

Love is... Not easily angered.

Anger is a natural human emotion. Even the girl from Enchanted got angry at one point! There are times that you will get angry in life, and anger is not necessarily a sin in itself. What you do with your anger can be a sin.

Anger is clearly a dangerous thing. There are several times where anger is mentioned in the Bible. The most known being,

"'Be angry and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your anger, nor give place to the devil."

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32

Keeping anger, like a grudge, within you can cause so much damage to yourself and others. You should forgive before the day is over because the longer you hold on to your anger the longer it will wrap it's vines around you and infect you. Anger festers over time, like an untreated wound. Yes, that is a disgusting sounding metaphor, but that is just the way it is. Anger can lead to wrath and hate.

"Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."

1 John 3:15

In God's eyes to hate someone is the same as murdering them, just as lust after a person is adultery. To hate a person you are first angry with them, you let the anger grow and fester inside of you, and then slowly you begin to hate them. This is a sin that we need to repent for.

Another dangerous thing about hate is that it gives place for the Devil to work in your life. That little seed grows under your "fertilizer" as it dwells and the Enemy also feeds it. You give them access to your heart and emotions and are being manipulated. The subtle thoughts that are put in your mind are more damaging over time than you think. Think of it like grains of rice. You add a grain each time with each thought, they seem so small. Over time you find that "all of a sudden" you have a gallon of rice stacked up. It is important to throw out each grain of rice as it comes in, before it can add up.

Anger, as previously said, is not sin. Jesus and God both have "righteous anger" and are angry. But remember that His anger lasts but a moment but His favor lasts a lifetime. (Psalm 30:5) A brief moment of anger seems to be okay, but it is something to be careful with. We all have emotions and we all get angered at times, it is what we do with it and if we can control it and forgive - "Be angry and do not sin".

It does not say "love is never angry", because God has been angry at times, and he is love, and he is perfect. It says "Love is not easily angered". This, I believe, goes hand in hand with patience. To have the patience, forgiveness, and love to not be angry with others easily.

Think about it, how often are we mad at people? We have short and quick cuss words and names for people who anger us, "Jerk, Stupid, Idiot." (I will not go into the cussing though.) We also make the noises, "ARRGH, UGH, AAAAHH, GRRR!" I know I make these noises. When you are driving, working, at school, shopping, walking, etc. these come to mind. Any time you interact with other people there is a chance you will get angry at them because out of our pride we think that they are being stupid because they are not doing things our way (AKA the "right way") or respecting us in the way we feel that we need to be treated. Admit it, you know this to be true.

Now imagine the life of Christ, pure love in the flesh. He was beaten, mocked, spit on, glared at, probably was shoved and pushed and people would repeatedly "wag their heads" at him. He was right and perfect and knew how people should act, in our standards he had every right to be angry at these people. Yet he was not easily angered, "Father forgive them, they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) He did not spit back, mock back, shake his fist, cuss, or scream in aggravation like we do. He was angry for a brief moment when he saw The Lords house, his Fathers house, turned into a place of business and being used the wrong way. Even after he was angry those times he forgave and continued on.

Is that our attitude? Is that my attitude?

I am still working on not being easily angered, it is far harder than it sounds... I would call quick anger "annoyance", when you roll your eyes and internally (or vocally) are upset with a person for a small thing they do, and one by one the rice stacks up. If we wish to love all people, as Christ does, than we need to work on having patience with people. Repent and forgive each time you are angered, and slowly your spirit is built up and you can notice it more quickly over time. This is strengthening your sprit, you patience, your love, and you "Christ-likeness". This is strengthening what is mean to be a "Christian".

"By this they will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

(John 13:35)

To be like Christ (to be a disciple - to be just like your "Rabbi") is to love, and it should be noticeable. Not being angered easily is noticed in our culture, so try it out and we can draw them to Christ.

Refining the faith,

-C.A.M.

Photo Credit: Myself, http://pens4chopsticks.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4lcl48